You're not being ignored because of what you say—but how you say it.
Learn the hidden communication mistake most people make without realizing it, and how it could be quietly pushing people away.
Summary
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Most people unknowingly speak in a way that weakens trust and likability
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“Being yourself” might be a trap if it keeps you stuck in old speaking habits
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Your voice is an instrument—and you’ve only been playing one key
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Small changes in volume, melody, and pauses can transform how others respond to you
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Confidence is not a personality trait; it's a trainable behavior
This post is a detailed summary of the video “No. 1 Communication Expert: This Speaking Mistake Makes People Dislike You!” from The Diary of a CEO with Vinh Giang. It explores the real reason many people struggle to be heard, how our vocal habits are formed, and the specific speaking behaviors that can radically shift how we are perceived. All key ideas are drawn from Vinh’s expert breakdowns and personal experience.
Who Is Vinh Giang—and Why Should You Listen to Him?
Vinh Giang isn’t your average “public speaking coach.”
He’s coached over 70,000 people worldwide, spoken on global stages, and worked with CEOs and Fortune 500 teams—not by telling them what to say, but by showing them how to say it.
But here’s what sets him apart:
❝ I grew up invisible. English was my third language. I was bullied, shy, and terrified to speak. Now I teach others how to own the room. ❞
His core belief?
“Your voice isn’t a tool. It’s an instrument. And you’ve never been taught how to play it.” The Subtle Speaking Mistake That Pushes People Away
You might think you sound “normal” or “fine.”
But what you don’t realize is:
Flat tone. Same volume. No melody. No pause.
That’s how we all naturally speak. And that’s why people tune us out.
We ramble when nervous We speak too fast We sound mechanical, apologetic, or passiveAnd here’s the kicker:
People don’t dislike what you say. They feel disconnected because of how you say it.
Even worse, most of us don’t change because we think:
❝ That doesn’t sound like me. It feels fake. ❞
But Vinh flips the script:
“If you can make the sound, it’s not fake. It’s just unfamiliar.” Your Voice = Learned Behavior (Not Identity)
The most mind-blowing insight from the interview:
Your current voice is just a copy.You learned it by mimicking adults around you—probably before age 4.
What feels “natural” now is really just:
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A default rhythm•
A repeated set of behavioral loops•
A comfort zone you've never questionedThe result?
You’ve been playing one note on an 88-key piano your whole life.
Confidence Isn’t Who You Are—It’s What You Practice
Vinh makes it simple:
You’re not shy. You’ve just practiced “shy behaviors” for 20 years.
Swap in new behaviors—and confidence follows.
He teaches 5 vocal foundations that instantly change how you're perceived:
1. Volume•
Don’t just get louder.
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Use dynamic volume:
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Quiet = tension
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Loud = energy
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Too much of either = ineffective
2. Melody•
Use pitch variation
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Flat = forgettable
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Melodic = memorable
“People hear the one with melody—even in a noisy room.” 3. Rate of Speech•
Speed up = excitement
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Slow down = power
“Slowness is a highlighter. It shows what matters.” 4. Emotion (Facial Expression)•
Your face controls your tone
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Smile → warmth
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Frown → gravity
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Surprise → curiosity
“Your face is the remote control for your voice.” 5. Pause•
The most powerful part of your message might be
… the silence after it.
What You Can Do Right Now
Want to sound more confident—today?
Vinh gives a simple (and slightly painful) method:
Step 1: Record yourself speaking for 5 minutes•
No script. Just talk.
Step 2: Review in 3 ways•
Audio only: How’s your volume? Melody? Pauses?
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Video only: Are you stiff? Hiding your hands? Fidgeting?
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Transcript: Do you ramble? Repeat? Use filler words like um, like, you know?
Step 3: Pick ONE behavior to change per week•
Just one. Practice it everywhere—calls, meetings, even reading to kids.
Step 4: Repeat•
Improvement comes from Kaizen—small, relentless iteration.
Final Thought: Don’t Be So Attached to “Who You Are”
“Don’t be so attached to who you are in the present that you don’t give the future version of you a chance.”
That version of you—the one who speaks and people lean in?
That’s not fake. That’s possible. You’ve just never trained for it.
Your voice already has the power to connect, inspire, and influence.You just haven’t learned how to use it.
But now you can.