And your brain never asked for your opinion
Summary
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Love isn’t a choice—it’s a survival strategy designed by your brain.
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You’re drawn to people who feel familiar, not necessarily right.
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Scent and immune compatibility secretly shape attraction.
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Modern relationships conflict with our ancient biology.
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Understanding love’s roots helps you stop repeating painful patterns.
This post is a detailed summary of the video “World Expert on Love: Your Brain Already Picked Your Partner” from The Diary of a CEO featuring Dr. Anna Machin. It explores how our biology, hormones, and attachment patterns shape who we love, why monogamy isn’t as natural as we think, and how modern relationships often clash with our evolutionary programming. All insights are based on Dr. Machin’s groundbreaking scientific research. Who is Dr. Anna Machin—and why should you care?
Dr. Anna Machin is an Oxford-based evolutionary anthropologist who spent decades decoding human love, parenting, and bonding through the lens of genetics, brain chemistry, and anthropology.
She's the author of Why We Love and works with researchers, families, and even fathers to uncover what really drives human connection.
"Love is not magic. It’s biology. And it’s written in your brain before you even know it."When Dr. Machin talks about love, she’s not offering dating advice—
She’s explaining what makes humans... human.
You Didn’t Choose Them—Your Brain Did
Have you ever met someone and instantly felt drawn to them—no logic, no explanation?
That wasn’t your soul recognizing a match.
That was your limbic system lighting up like fireworks.
From the very first moment:•
Your brain checks for genetic compatibility
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It evaluates their immune system via scent
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It triggers reward chemicals if they feel “right”
“Love is your brain’s way of getting you to do what it wants: connect, reproduce, survive.”
You Smell Compatibility
This isn’t metaphor. It’s literal science.
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Women subconsciously detect MHC gene compatibility through scent
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These genes help diversify offspring immune systems
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A man who “smells amazing” might just be genetically ideal
Your nose is scanning for strong babies—even if your conscious mind is looking for emotional intelligence.
You Repeat Familiar Love Patterns
Your brain doesn’t look for what’s good.
It looks for what’s familiar.
That means:•
If you grew up around emotional distance, you may seek cold partners
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If you experienced inconsistency, you might crave emotional highs and lows
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If love once felt anxious, stable love might feel boring
“We confuse anxiety with attraction all the time.”
And we call it “type.”
But it’s often unhealed attachment wounds disguised as chemistry.
Why Love Feels Like a Drug
Dr. Machin explains that falling in love is chemically identical to addiction:
Love releases:•
Dopamine (motivation, craving)
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Oxytocin (bonding, trust)
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Vasopressin (attachment)
At the same time, it lowers activity in your prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for logic and judgment.
"You literally stop thinking clearly when you're in love."That’s why:
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You ignore red flags
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You stay in unhealthy relationships
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You feel withdrawal after a breakup
Are We Really Built for Monogamy?
Ready for a truth bomb?
“Only 20–30% of people are biologically inclined toward monogamy.”
That’s not a moral failure—it’s evolutionary diversity.
Humans evolved multiple mating strategies:
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Pair bonding for cooperative parenting
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Short-term mating for genetic variety
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Social structures that reinforce one or the other
Yet modern society forces monogamy as the default,
even when it doesn’t fit how we’re wired.
So… Can You Rewire Your Love Life?
Yes. But it takes awareness, not willpower.
Understand your attachment style Reflect on your patterns Practice secure behaviors, even if they feel unfamiliar Choose emotionally safe partners—even if your brain says “meh”"You can't control who you're attracted to. But you can choose how you act on it."
Final Thought: Know Your Brain Before You Fall Again
You might think you're falling for someone because they're “meant for you.”
But in reality?
Your brain picked them
long before your heart got involved.
Because to your biology, love is not about romance.It’s about survival.
So the next time your heart races or butterflies flutter, ask yourself:
Is this love? Or is it a familiar chemical cocktail I keep chasing?
Once you understand that,
you stop falling blindly—
and start loving with intention.